


The Matzelbergers

by SpottyAnarchist5



Category: Original Work, The Comic Strip Presents...
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Robots & Androids, Androgyny, Bad Puns, Being Lost, Breaking the Fourth Wall, British Comedy, British Politics, Christmas, Comedy, Communism, Crossover, Crossover Pairings, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Daddy Kink, Dark Comedy, Developing Relationship, Drunkenness, Fear, Flashbacks, Gender Dysphoria, Gender Issues, Genderfluid Character, Historical References, Identity Issues, Identity Reveal, Implied Relationships, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Innuendo, Insults, M/M, Memory Related, Name Changes, Non-Consensual Spanking, Past Relationship(s), Period-Typical Racism, Perversion, Post-Break Up, Public Humiliation, Recovered Memories, References to Depression, References to Monty Python, Repressed Memories, Self-Reflection, Sibling Rivalry, Swearing, Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving Dinner, Trans, Trans Character, Trans Female Character, Transphobia, Transvestite
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-24
Updated: 2018-06-30
Packaged: 2019-04-07 10:34:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 7,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14079003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpottyAnarchist5/pseuds/SpottyAnarchist5
Summary: In a alternate universe version of the UKlives a goth socialist called Richard,his drunk professor clone,his mate Adrian a  basic bitch robot activist,Kelsie the quiet self deprecating irishman,Harry the 1960s sitcom dad who has retired from his years of dictatorship and Rudi his sarcastic emo brotherwhile Adrian reunites with Eddie a friend from his past who has the same surname he used to have and starts out with him much to the annoyance of his flatmate Richie.





	1. Chapter 1

The Professor is still the professor  
  
he just has female hormone pills to take now (for reasons)  
  
Richard isn't back to normal but he is having a "brighter day" away from the void he feels like a teenager again because he has remembered he is only 22 (physically due to timeskips)  
  
Adrian is curious to find out more about his past as his lighting bolt hair clip is removed as it's revealed all his old memories have been recovered  
  
Kelsie is just existing but will probably move away to another universe for a long while

  
the break up didn't just upset Richard it also gave him an identity crisis and existential thoughts that he has been repressing forever with his lack of sanity at times  
  
but this time for many days he didn't leave the house or talk much and was very into despair  
  
Richard is usually the person who helps others but not himself unless it involves shopping or food  
  
and The Professor has been thinking of being part female still androgynous but not a 100% male like before  
  
he is still the same professor just with different hormones  
  
he doesn't mind what pronouns you use but he doesn't mind being a "woman"  
  
Adrian, on the other hand, is still the same he is just trying to figure out who he is personality wise and who he should give sympathy to or why he even bothers anyways


	2. Adrian and Richard's fear of "reds"

  
Adrian is a queen bee(as in a high school film stereotype )  
  
  Rudi is on a new path while Harry is reliving in bliss  
  
Adrian has no government (anarchist/socialist)  
but he has remembered that ignoring his facist phase of past he should make something of his robotic heritage even if only a few people listen to him he's trying to change the world in some way  
  
he also stole another anarchist Rick's jacket  
  
Rick chased him whining "Give that back that was expensive"  
  
Adrian mocked  "not as expensive as your dress ey British poof boi"  
  
Rick complained "you fascist"  
  
Adrian blinked proudly "Danke for the compliment I take that with stoner salt because I am one"  
  
Rick was confused

 

while Richard's phobia of communism was still present even during his final days with Hyung

(FLASHBACK)

Richard shouted "BUT HYUNG COMMUNISM IS MY WEAKNESS YOU PUT THAT DOWN"  
  
Rudi was shocked

(Richard and Hyung were later playing soccer)

Hyung groaned "Richard seriously here's a red card" as he handed him a red card  
  
Richard screamed "r-red"

 

and before Adrian had nobody to ship himself with

I just realized I have nobody to ship Adrian him with  
  
Adrian broke the fourth wall "you only just now realized that"  
  
(earlier)  
  
Adrian was on tumblr fawning over fictional characters   
  
Oh Sam  
  
Oh Sherlock  
  
Oh Doctor  
  
The Professor walked in "Yes?"  
  
Adrian coldly answered "not you the hipster science British man with the police box"


	3. Bad Puns

 Harry and Rudi were having some typical sibling rivalry  while looking at family photos

Harry fawned "aww you and I looked so cute"  
  
Rudi groaned "I can train the ghost of Blondi (Harry's dog) to bite you and will if I need to"

 Later on Rudi accidentally overheard Adrian say something to do with innuendo which Adrian responded with

"Oh beg my pardon I was talking to the professor, not you Wolf"  
  
Rudi shrugged "I'm your brother technically "  
  
Adrian sarcastically remarked "you have no brothers biologically they're dead"  
  
Rudi blankly stared "I'd like you to be dead"  
  
Adrian continued to mock him "Robots are immortal remember showing the I sign on his forehead  
  
Rudi punched Adrian  
  
Adrian shouted "DAD!! Rudi is being a wolf again"

The Professor ran inside unhappy "Don't be a wolf Wolf  your supposed to be Hitler"  
Rudi rolled his eyes "other way round Professor  isn't Harry Hitler?"  
  
Harry relaxed in his armchair boasting "my glory days are over and I'm old you deal with your own messes"  
  
Adrian still wouldn't shut up as he shoved his index finger in Rudi's face while pressing his face against his thumb

"ha loser"  
  
Rudi cringed "please stop that"  
  
Adrian mocked "you have a life now that he's not part of your life anymore oh wait no your head is full of nuts and bolts from watching Disney sequels all day"  
  
Richie & Eddie from Bottom then walked in

(Adrian had been chilling with Eddie)  
  
Richie was confused by the randomness "did you make the bird you were with drunk?"  
  
Eddie shrugged "Maybe"  
  
Richie answered "that is not how you treat a bird Eddie"  
  
Adrian then ran over to Eddie "Oh Eddie the others were being mean again let vati (German for Daddy) beat them up for me"  
  
Eddie aroused but surprised replied  "Ohh Yes Miss Matzelberger your wish shall be granted"  
  
Rudi complained "so it's ok for you to say it to him but not to me"  
  
after Adrian was done smooching Eddie he responded with "we are brothers Rudi remember the rules of Tumblr"  
  
The Professor was puzzled "but we go against the rules of Tumblr"  
  
  Rudi was later punched and Adrian was later slapped for getting drunk (accidentally) before Eddie got a kick in the knob for being the cause of the misunderstanding

The Professor was then playing the drums  
  
when Adrian hit her with a drumstick  
  
Eddie smirked at Adrian

"well you have a banana I'd like to peel"  
  
Adrian winked back

"Danke what a juicy compliment"  
  
The Professor then turned himself into a banana (not really he just had a banana suit on)

"I turned myself into a Banana Kelsey look I'm a banana I'm a banana  
LOOK AT ME MOVE JUST DO IT" she shouted  
  
Kelsie couldn't think of a punchline so she just responded with "Montana"

 


	4. Political Banter

Harry was in his home of Hell visiting a British politician the one known as Alan B'stard a conservative prime minister so good and so handsome he led England for 6 years 

Harry walked inside Alan's house "Hallo" he formerly greeted  
  
Alan B'stard sat in his chair with grey hair,a dark red waistcoat and a tie  greeting back in his formal british accent "Hello"  
  
Harry smiled at him"this could be the start of a sucessful"  
  
Alan B'stard cut him off "Partnership oh yes" he smirked

Harry is a bit lazy but he and Alan B'stard get along due to  
  
"Good Foreign Relations"  
  
Alan B'stard excitedly said "I can't believe I'm meeting with the fuhrer himself"  
Harry blushed "Danke your too kind"  
Alan B'stard suggested "I hear Japan's government is getting back on track"  
Harry added on "wanna go and reunite the axis again?"  
Alan B'stard agreed "sounds like a splendid idea the japs are good chaps"  
Harry chuckled in response

(Later on in The Professor's house Richard,Rudi,Harry,Adrian and The Professor were watching the news about the new Austrian president)

 Rudi blew a party whistle coldly

Richard squealed happily "I DID IT I DID IT  I HAVE FOUND A SOLUTION"  
  
Adrian turned his eyes smirking "So you're not a virgin anymore"  
  
Richard cheerfully answered "Nein I'm always the dominant but now mien country can also be in that position once again"  
  
The Professor flicked a v sign saying "Taste this Merkel"  
  
Harry smiled "I had no idea I could perform miracles just by teaming up with Alan B'stard"

Adrian mocked "Oh Harry we treasure you The Sun,The Mirror and the Tory spirit

Rudi cringed in response "please don't say that again"

Kelsie annoyingly complained "wait a second  I'm still stuck with Ukip,Teresa and Corbyn"

  
Adrian pointed out "An Anarchist's job is never done until most fascists are abolished" while he stared at Harry unhappily  
  
  Rudi then read the newspaper only to find some interesting news "apparently someone called Eddie Hitler is in charge of Ukip now"  
  
Adrian metaphorically had hearts in his eyes "Oh my Eddie Yes Yes Yes"  
  
The Professor asked "that's a small party though that is usually joked about"  
  
Adrian scoffed "well you're an artichoke Professor" before BBC News switched to showing Eddie at a Ukip podium giving a speech  
  
Eddie declared "I say if someone is being an annoying git nobody matter who they are you sock them so they now that nobody is better than anyone else"  
  
Richie was in the audience when he shouted **"** Well excuse me"  
  
Adrian then explained "The bloodline is mostly dead"  
  
Harry & Rudi stared at Adrian  
  
Adrian made a sarcastic remark "you're retired though you don't count"  
  
Harry was offended "I wasn't retired I died and then I became a  old man again so get off my lawn"

Adrian rolled his eyes "we share the same house"

Harry complained "fine I'm going to move out someday"

Richard rolled his eyes "Sure grandpa" 

Harry whined "I heard that"

You see the joke is he says he's going to move out but he already lives on his own 

Adrian: Stop explaining your unfunny joke I want this new facist character out of this chapter 

and  would you stop making the ending longer he'll leave soon he is a minor character after all


	5. Crossover Halloween

Adrian is in a suit presenting a boring daytime television show   
  
"AND NEXT ON THE SHOW a robot named wolf has many wolf cosplayers claiming to be their children"

Rudi is offended "What No"

(from cutaway gag to the Halloween party)

Kelsie complained "Stupid fascists are ruining Halloween yes there may be some cultural appropriation but why on earth are they pushing it onto their kids"  
  
Alan B'stard was invited and dressed as a boy scout " The yanks can't even get Halloween right" he coldly answered   
  
Adrian was dressed as heather chandler as he replied "Agreed" before he heldthe so called "drain cleaner" and downed it before realizing it was mouthwash spitting it out  
  
Richard was dressed as Doctor Frankenfurter from Rocky Horror as he added on "I mean how on earth is something as harmless as Halloween racist???"  
  
The Professor then said something completely irrelevant "How will I be able to see some hot penny wise at my doorstep"  
  
Richard rolled his eyes "do you seriously want clown sex?"  
  
The Professor was dressed as and was acting like Rick Sanchez  "Yes Richard" she burped before finishing the sentence with "I definitely want the clown sex"  
  
  
(Notice:the following is a parody of the Comic strip presents short film:Dirty Movie Comic Strip Presents belongs to Channel 4 and Peter Richardson)  
Adrian is a postman delivering a hentai game delivery for someone and that someone is Richard but Richard is ignoring a hangover while Officer Rudi and Officer Richie (The Professor) are looking on the roof with their binoculars to see whose house the hentai game is being delivered to. **  
**

  
Adrian short circuited and crashed before getting back up to deliver something  
  
  Rudi was on the roof as a policeman with Officer Richie (The Professor) " Do you see anything suspicious"? he asked   
  
The Professor guessed "nobody is dressed for Halloween?"  
  
Rudi answered "other than that"  
  
The Professor guessed again "there's no sexy girls in revealing costumes"  
  
Rudi rolled his eyes "yes... OF COURSE NOT that man there has some porn that we don't know about and"  
  
The Professor coldly responded "If we don't know about it then why are you asking me?"  
  
Rudi blankly stared "It could be Lolicon or a banned pornographic video game"  
  
The Professor shrugged "Nah he would never do that it's against the law"  
  
  Rudi tried to ignore the Professor "can you find his house?" as asked looking with his binoculars   
  
The Professor inspected "I see a house decorated with skulls and skeletons"   
  Rudi rolled his eyes "That is the freaks house and can you find the package?"  
  
The Professor attempted to direct her gun to where the package was located "Uh yes?" he questioned  
  
Rudi commanded  "Now shoot it"  
  
The Professor ended up shooting Richard's doorbell instead as it gave off a loud ear screeching beep   
  
Rudi yelled "YOU UTTER DUMMKOPF!!!!!"

Richard got out of bed as brushed his teeth and went downstairs to fix himself a cup of tea before checking the letterbox of his front door  
  
Richard while he in his dressing gown holding his  cup of tea he overheard the doorbell noise "I simply need to get that replaced it's giving mich a migraine"  
  
Adrian resumed his delivery work as he walked to Harry's house **"** Hallo sir did you by any chance order Samurai Angel X for the PC?" he asked holding up the cover of the anime styled fictional samurai showing her boobs through a revealing outfit as she posed with a sword   
  
Harry opened his door and responded in his typical old man way "I think you have the wrong house I don't pleasure myself that way danke very much and I don't think that's PC (he thinks PC means Politically Correct and not PC as in Computer) if it's perverse"  
  
Adrian  then walked to Kelsie's house "Hallo miss did you order this video game Samurai Angel X?"  
  
Kelsie answered "I don't recall my laptop isn't compatible with that...but it does look quite interesting"  
  
Adrian  then slammed thedoor only to be encountered by a angry Richard running down the footpath still in his nightgown   
  
"YOU Giftzwerg (bastard in Austrian) that's mien package you have there" he yelled   
  
Adrian answered "But sir you don't seem to be the type to order a game like this you sound much more like a schwul (Queer in Austrian) if anything"  
  
Richard got offended "You Arschkeks, verfluchter! (stupid shithead) how dare you be so rude can't a flamboyant stereotype of the goth sausage that is me enjoy themselves in peace"  
  
Adrian asked "Sir are you intoxicated right now?"  
  
Richard snatched the video game from Adrian before walking back home burping "I am not good day" slamming his door  
  
(later on Adrian decided to go to the movies but Professor and Wolf were still on the look out as they tackled Adrian)  
  
The Professor tried to sound threatening "get on your knees" she interrogated   
  
Adrian was confused "Uh Ok"  
  
The Professor then commanded "and get out your hands"  
  
Rudi coldly said "Richie you are supposed to be interrogating him"  
  
The Professor answered back "I am I am interrogating him into the house of the lord"  
  
Adrian thought they were looking for sexual services as he melodramatically answered "how much I have 25 pounds in my purse"  
  
Rudi face palmed at The Professor's nonsense  "You aren't even Christian we are cops, not Jehovah's witnesses"  
  
The Professor cringed **"** ah ha we aren't interested...anyways WHAT'S YOUR NAME"   
  
Adrian simply answered "Adrian"  
  
The Professor then confused Adrian with the British actor of the same name "Edmondson?"

Rudi rolled his eyes at The Professor "Wrong Adrian Professor that's an actor and this is a sexual deviant"  
  
The Professor tried to still look cool with her response "For being a actor he sure is good at "putting on the act" so Eddie Hitler how does the film start?"  
  
Adrian smiled and rambled "How did you know mien boyfriend's name and the film starts out with these punk guys and they meet this Alien girl and"  
  
The Professor cut him off "Ah ha so you're into Sausage parties with Mohawk delinquents"  
  
Eddie Hitler then appeared mistaking the cops for Adrian's friends as he greeted "Miss Matzelberger sorry I'm late I didn't know you had some birds with you"  
  
  Rudi and Professor blushed "uh we aren't?" but were forced to watch the film with them anyway


	6. Thanksgiving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flashback to early 1980s when Richard and Hyung humiliated themselves in front of some famous british comedians while Professor and Adrian argue while spending thanksgiving at Richie and Eddie's flat

Professor in a English accent sung "ALWAYS LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE "  
  
Harry whistled  
  
Richard tiredly answered "It's ok  I haven't slept since 1945 either"  
  
Adrian caught on to the bad pun Richard was saying "you mean it in the other way don't you"  
  
There was then awkward silence  
  
The Professor then said "he's a bit on edge isn't he"  
  
Rudi coldly said "I'm being pushed to the edge"  
  
Adrian hummed a Lady Gaga song "THE EDGE OF GLORY UwU"

(FLASHBACK)

It's 1982 Richard and Hyung were spending time at the biggest comedy club in England, The Comedy Store and on stage was none other than the iconic duo "20th Century Coyote consisting of the legendary Rik Mayall and Ade Edmondson 

Richard and Hyung sat at their seats when Hyung said "You know me and you are quite like Rik and Ade over there"

Richard couldn't fathom why they and 20th century coyote could ever be compared to each other so he spat out some of his wine answering

"We are not what makes you think that?"  
  
Hyung explained his reasoning "we are two straight men who make complete asses of each other and I'm usually the butt monkey"  
  
Richard complained "but Hyung you know my legs already have horrible posture they aren't straight at all...at least Rik and Ade make people laugh I'm a former nationalist transvestite and you are a communist masochist"  
  
Hyung got offended by the last comment "EXCUSE ME  VIRGIN you are more of a masochist than me the most sexual tension you get is from our BDSM sessions"  
  
Richard hated that Hyung had mention their private life publicly due to Hyung shouting in the argument  so he made a threat

"Are you asking for one Hyung? I am enjoying this show and I am definitely going to enjoy the bit where I pour wine down your trousers"

Hyung was then subjected to the humiliation as Richard undid the wine bottle and poured the contents down Hyung's trousers  Richard went a bit nuts when carrying out said threat "Ha it's red like communism which is the only part of you that I hate you know it's a symbol of anger right?".

The actual act the 20th Century Coyote was entertaining for them until near the end when Hyung yelled "YOU DICK" at Richard however it was so loud even Rik could overhear the remark thinking it was about him he responded the same way he would anytime he'd be heckled by staying in character as he stared at Hyung

"Do we have a communist in the audience"? he asked 

Hyung blushed this was a lot more humiliation than he had asked for he repressed his anger at Richard stuttering in his answer to Rik's question "Y-Yes?"

Rik inhaled "Well" before putting on his *anarchist poet* persona whining "Well I think all communists are fascists do you know what Lenin and Stalin did to the world?"  
  
Hyung being someone who actually from a communist country answered "Russians betrayed us"  
  
Rik paused "they made good plays though" before getting back into character ..."HAVING A REVOLUTION IS HOW WE WILL STOP THATCHER"

Ade sighed "Oh no the bastard's rambling about the iron curtain again"  
  
Rik  stayed in character whining "But Marx was different"  
  
Ade answered "then again the world will be ending anyways with all this talk about a possible Nuclear War"  
  
Rik smirked and gave a thumbs up "That's true Anarchy"

Richard hummed anarchy in the UK to hide the laughter he felt from Hyung's embarrassment  
  
"Eyyyy Hyung" he smirked  
  
Hyung coldly answered "What"  
  
Richard made a bad joke "you know what they say about Asian penises"  
  
Hyung answered "that they are shorter than you?"  
  
Richard joked "coming from the man who has wine down his pants communism is bleeding red like your iron dick"  
  
Hyung complained"the only iron dick here is you and the other dick on stage"  
  
Rik overheard that "How Dare you compare me to thatcher"

*FLASH FORWARD*

Eddie declared "Who needs birds when you've got your mates"  
  
The Professor  answered "well I can be both"  
  
Eddie said wouldn't you be a leisbian then?  
  
The Professor shouted "but you were too"  
  
Eddie tried to suppress the memory "once only once and it was for a joke"  
  
The Professor smirked "but didn't you say in a episode you wanted to be in the body of some female model or something?"  
  
Adrian slapped The Professor's hands off Eddie  "Richie HANDS OFF!"  
  
Richie from the kitchen answered "Excuse me"  
  
The Professor unhappily explained "Not you It's my dead name  
  
Adrian sighed "good then I'll be able to tell you and Richard apart"  
  
The Professor looked at Adrian eyebrow raised "we are of the same person"  
  
Richard holding his hand on the back of his head having a hangover whined "we are not I'm not feminine"  
  
The Professor shouted back "you are"  
  
Richard then fell over  
  
While Richie was confused "what Richard are we talking about here?"  
  
Adrian pointed to Richard who was lying on the floor "the one who just fell over completely knackered"  
  
The Professor mocked Adrian "oh clever you and your "English vocabulary" how idiosyncratic Adrian"  
  
Eddie asked "are we going to argue or are we going to eat the turkey"?  
  
Kelsie then ran to the table "TURKEY"  
  
Rudi looked down "I had a turkey"  
  
Richard then stood up from the floor walking to his seat declaring "I'm going cold turkey"  
  
Kelsie asked "from what?"  
  
Richard answered "from life"  
  
Eddie shrugged and cut the turkey  
  
while Rudi simply responded with "fair enough"


	7. Character Trivia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pointless Character Info

The reason why Adrian had a lighting bolt hairclip USB on (in his old design) when he had joined Richard,Hyung,Kelsie and Rudi  
was because the Professor programmed it to help with his memory loss from the past but since he's coming closer to being a older adult and rethinking his life  
he is now remembering what he couldn't remember before so he doesn't need that anymore. It serves more like a camera

once during a interview when asked about his favourite bands The professor went on and on about the bands he liked  
  
Adrian cut him off "we don't need to see the encylopedia on how many rock bands there are thanks"  
  
The Professor **overdramatically gasped "** Wha?"  **holding hand on his chest**   "Adrian y-you have offended me"

usually when the Professor naps or has a hangover her Ozzy Osbourne style glasses can usually be seen on top of his head or sideways on her eyes

reminder: Adrian is technically 25 in robot years and is older physically than both Richard,Hyung,Kelsie and Rudi combined but is still young compared to the Professor and Harry 

The Professor has two voices  
  
the Patrick star voice (that she uses most of the time)  
  
and his real natural voice 

Richard and Adrian's voices are weirdly similar  
  
maybe it's the accent (they are both Austrian after all)  
  
Richard's accent is slightly more strong  
  
and Adrian's is more mellow (unless his stereotypical English side gets added in when he's surprised,excited or amused in a non sarcastic way)

I used to say in Adrian's bio that he's sadistic  
  
you'd be wondering why  
  
but after seeing how many times he fights with the professor  
  
you'd have your answer

Adrian was called Adrian because it was the most normal name William and his wife could think of that wasn't too similar to the other people in the "Hitler" family  
  
when around strangers they act like any other normal human beings  
  
Adrian is a basic bitch on instagram  
  
The Professor is just the average rick and morty nerd  
  
and Richard is just the friendly neighborhood goth transvestite

The Professor's real name is Richie but he's changed it to Richelle since transitioning


	8. Richard's Britain and Adrian's Dysphoria

Richard was browsing memes when he came across a Nintendo advert that was red and said in bold "There's no such thing as an Nintendo")

because of the rhetoric and colour it sent him into a frenzy

Kelsie read "Red is for socialism  
red is for Nintendo"  
  
Richard gasped "Gah! red the colour of"   
  
Kelsie stared at him when Richard realized red is actually a colour included on the Austrian flag "My Flag" he realized

even though Richard has suffered with communism phobia for years and wears red often in his wardrobe he has never realized that's one of the colours shown in the Austrian flag.

So has the Professor changed at all ever since he got tits  
  
Adrian sighed "Nein"  
  
(but it did get Adrian to start attending community college with HUMANS)  
(note:while this is original with original characters there are a few references to the sketch show Little Britain)  
  
The Teacher explained "Adrian Matzelberger you answered the question wrong"  
  
Adrian raised an eyebrow "How did I answer it wrong?"  
  
The Teacher explained further "when I asked for a list of psychopaths you put down Halsey in the middle of the page above Charles Manson"  
  
Adrian shrugged "Ja...but nein I'd disagree Charles Manson was just the ringleader he didn't kill anyone with his own hands  and I will not let you culturally appropriate him like that"  
  
The Classmates chanted  "OH Nooooo looks like we have a white supremacist in our class"  
  
Adrian was puzzled and annoyed "White super masochist wha? Oh shut up you Dorito crackers"  
  
The Teacher sighed "Very well I will see your guardian after class"  
  
Adrian then  **phoned Harry "** so my teacher wants to talk with you or something?"  
  
Harry groaned "Fine"  
  
The Teacher shook Harry's hand "Ah! so you must be Adrian's uncle"  
Harry nodded

"Why did Adrian want me to visit again?  
  
The Teacher explained "Well we had to make a spider diagram of well-known psychopaths and he put Halsey above Charles Manson"  
  
Harry asked "Halsey? the singer oh scandals in the music industry have been happening for a while now and I will admit my times with the drugs my doctor put me on were crazy I have been clean from cocaine for a long time now"  
  
(meanwhile)  
  
The Professor declared "I am now a lady"  
  
Richard pointed out "but you have no vagina only tits"  
  
The Professor said "I'm a trap then"  
  
Richard asked "didn't you once hate traps?"  
  
The Professor was confused Wha? nien I don't hate traps I just didn't understand them  
  
Richard rolled his eyes "you saw a picture of my ex and thought he was attractive but once you knew he was a man you freaked out"  
  
The Professor remembered "Oh"  
  
Richard responded "and now you're a woman yourself"  
  
The Professor whined "I'd prefer being called a trap"  
  
Richard cringed before giving his reason "Professor I've been in the LGBT community for years and I know that outside of anime terminology trap can be a slur"

The Professor said OOOOOOh so are you gonna give me a booty slap dickface

Richard then realized the Professor was drunk again "I will spank you for that"  
  
"RICHELLE YOU ARE TRYING TOO HARD" he yelled   
  
The Professor asked "but didn't you used to be like this"  
  
Richard realized the similarities but that just made him slap him even more   
  
( **slapping sound effects and the professor complaining are overheard** )  
The Professor complained "you can't do this to me I'm a professor you are supposed to be over my knee not me"  
  
Richard laughed manically  "have you forgotten about the fact I'm perverted too professor WE ARE LITERALLY THE SAME PERSON" 

and I'd rather watch a Mrs Browns Boys marathon than be in one of your "scenarios"

(later they apologized,The Professor was sober and Adrian arrived home)

The Professor asked "Hey Adrian did you hear the news about Halsey?"  
  
Adrian coldly answered "Halsey? I don’t listen to her music anymore"  
  
The Professor was surprised "I expected you to be more surprised since you used to look up to her during one of your phases"  
  
Adrian answered "Oh yeah during my overly Politically Correct phase but that was the old me"  
  
The Professor reminisced "I remember you used to call almost everything sexist or racist despite the fact you are a cis white male"  
  
Adrian reminisced with her "then I got my usb removed, my memories came back and you  
decided not to be a man anymore speaking of which how come you haven’t finished your transition yet?"  
  
The Professor spoke in a more serious sounding tone as he explained "you see Adrian it’s bit like top and Bottom"  
  
Adrian was  **confused "** Professor I understood none of that please elaborate"  
  
The Professor elaborated "well sometimes with Gender Dysphoria you can feel either top or bottom dysphoria  
So you could feel uncomfortable about your chest or about your parts"  
  
Adrian was still confused "Richelle I’m a robot for me parts is meant in the literal terms"  
  
The Professor finished the lecture "you know what I mean so while my voice will for now remain the same I’ve never really felt 100% masculine neither physically or psychologically  that’s why I take Estrogen  
and while you are fairly androgynous you aren't as super feminine as you used to be, you still casually cross-dress but you don’t see a different reflection in the mirror of your mind do you?  
  
Adrian coldly remarked "yes I do I see the reflection of my old self, my human, English, awkward self"  
  
The Professor added onto his lecture "the you from the past and the you from now are the same person it’s just all the changes and evolution your life goes through that makes that confusing mental problems can also manipulate the mind that way"  
  
Adrian was eye opened by what The Professor had hold him "Wow you actually said something smart for once"  
  
The Professor casually replied "I’m sober today that’s what happened …..wanna a Christmas cracker" as she offered one to Adrian   
  
Adrian held the Christmas cracker sarcastically joking "does your name and our countries statistic for size in meat sticks implicate anything or Are you using a slur at me?"  
  
The Professor popped the Christmas cracker saying "You’re the only PowerPoof boy I know"  
  
Adrian joked  "Eyyyyyyyyyy" before he and The Professor hugged each other 


	9. Christmas

Kelsie asked via a skype call "so when's the kissing?"  
  
Richard answered "what kissing I'm single?"  
  
Adrian innocently whistled while sneakingly waving mistletoe between Richard and Richie  
  
Richie grinned "FINALLY" as he kissed Richard   
  
Richard kissed moaning "oh my Wolf what greasy lips you have"  
  
Rudi awoke from his nap "WHO ARE YOU SMOOCHING RICHARD I WAS SLEEPING"

The Professor slurped her eggnog loudly  
  
  
Richard shrugged "Merry Krampus i guess?"  
  
  
Adrian disguised himself as Santa humming "Santa me Santa me all the way here to save the day"  
  
  
Eddie invited Adrian to his and Richie's flat to help with Christmas decorations  
  
considering they had no tree they just put Christmas lights in the microwave  
  
  
even if at some point Adrian admired the aesthetic too much to the point of getting tangled in them  
  
Richie  got his back at Eddie by disguising as Krampus


	10. New Name and the end game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry and Rudi decide to legally change their names so they can put their history behind them

Rudi and Harry had enroled in getting a deed poll which meant they could use their legally changed names on official documents

Harry wrote down "Harry, Harry Stuart Huston"  
  
the person registering him asked  any relation?  
  
Harry asked "to who?"  
  
the person registering said "to William Patrick Huston"  
  
Harry explained "Oh  he's my uh my nephew"  
  
the registering person explained "it says here William's uncle was the late Adolf Hitler who is dead so it would be complete nonsense for you to be him"  
  
Harry tried to think of another family member to be "Ah ha that's because I'm his uh first uncle twice removed"  
  
Rudi facepalmed   
  
the registering person put his new name in "well he doesn't have a first uncle twice removed Harry Stuart Houston welcome to the united kingdom"  
  
Harry greeted "thank you very much"  
  
"and who is this young fellow?" the registering person noticed pointing to Rudi  
  
Harry thought of an excuse "Oh that's my son"  
  
Rudi was  annoyed at being called that since he wanted to be less associated with Harry not more   
  
the registering person asked "and is his name is?"  
  
Harry made up a name "Aidan, Aidan Harrison"  
  
Rudi sighed  
  
The registering person questioned "these are names of English origin sir yet you've said you are German"  
  
Harry exclaimed "Austrian I am German by nationality"  
  
The registering person said That doesn't explain why Aidan has a cluster of names of different origin yet you say you were in William Patrick's family  
  
Harry made another excuse "he's the bastard child of course"

Rudi muttered under his breath "wanker"

Richard is enjoying his visits to the "alternate universe" so much that he's forgetting Hyung even existed but it's making him happier

he,Professor and Adrian started up a indie band called Pixie Dust Candy

Kelsie is still living in that universe just with different roommates in a different flat since she enrolled in university 

 Harry has moved away and is on a new leaf 

Adrian feels connected he's telling tales of his past,making cameos in crossover pieces and he is prideful of his cyborg identity inspired by the band Kero Kero bonito he isn't a boy or a girl he's a super computer

The End (well for Harry anyway he was just a minor character fooled ya!)


	11. APRIL FOOLS

before it was time for Harry to move away Richard did a famous song cover since it was April fools day

Richard stood proudly on the stage in front of a post punk looking Professor,Adrian in a bunny suit aswell as Harry and Aidan

Richard cleared his throat and started to sing

und now the end is near  
And so I face the Iron curtain you cunt, I wasn't there *points to Harry and Alois*

I'll state my case, of which I'm certain  
I've lived a life that's half full and each and every highway  
And that, much more than this I did it mien way (Richard over dramatically acts)  
  
Regrets, I've had a few  (shows a iron cross,first aid kit and mugshot)  
But then again, too few to mention  
Ich did, what I have to do  
I saw it through without condemption    
  
I planned each chartered course (clicks his glasses and holds a scroll)  
Each careful step along the highway  
And more, much more than this  
Ich did it my way  
  
There were times, I'm sure you knew  
When Ich had fuck fuck fuck all else to do (screams)  
But through it all, when there was doubt  
I shut it down or knocked it out I faced the Berlin wall and the world (punching position)  
And did it mien way  
  
I've laughed and been with a snake (points to old photos of him and Hyung)  
I've had my fill, my share of living  
And now, the tears subside I find it all so amusing  
To think, I dated a communist and may I say, not in a gay way (throws rose)  
Oh no, no not mich I did it my way  
  
For what is she a brat, what has he got  
When she wears hats and he cannot  
Say the things she truly feels  
But only the words, of one who kneels  
The record shows, I've took my bows  
And did it mien way

"What the hell was that?" Harry and Aidan asked 

Richard explained "It was a cover of Sid vicious's cover of Frank Sinatra’s My Way"

Harry was still confused he had no idea who Frank Sinatra nor Sid Vicious were because he didn't like swing/jazz at the time and when the Sex Pistols were around he was dead 

"so what does this conclude?" Aidan asked 

Richard declared "that I am not a facist anymore I am just strictly a socialist,I have moved on,you and harry I know just from the past but nothing beyond that,Hyung was a toxic ex and I shouldn't have pretended to be something I wasn't for several years"

Aidan answered "Well I am starting to understand why they hate trump so much"

The Professor asked "speaking of which Adrian how did you know Eddie?"

Adrian answered "Eddie? Oh I knew him way back when I was a skinhead"

The Professor gasped "you never told me this"

Adrian remarked "you were a third party back then"

The Professor responded offended "A THIRD PARTY?????"

Harry offered "Professor I got you some beer for easter"

The Professor Beer oh lovely dear beer *chugs it down*

Harry turned on Spitting Image only to be lovestruck by the puppet version of Margaret Thatcher "Oh my who is this?"

Richard noticed "that’s Maggie Thatcher she was the former prime minister of England"

Adrian explained "whom was the cause of many coal miners losing their jobs"

Richard shouted at him "your dad was a organ collector"

Adrian shouted back "NUCLEAR WEAPONS"

Richard shouted again "MICK THE MOOSE!"

Adrian whined "you thought that was a slur at my Irish heritage but it actually just makes me want chocolate moose now"

The Professor asked "didn't Maggie say that England had a mickey mouse government"

Adrian nodded

Harry yelled "SHUT UP" he felt attracted to the puppet Margaret Thatcher 

Richard was weirded out "you know that’s a puppet right?"

Harry asked "isn't this show Spitting Image is about real people"

Adrian sarcastically asked "um Harry?"

Harry responded "what?"

Adrian said "Maggie Thatcher died 5 years ago"

The Professor laughed "Haha Harry’s a necrophiliac"

Harry answered "am not"

The Professor broke the fourth wall what loser would be interested in the dead?

Aidan answered probably morticians and coroners you quack

Adrian added on "and who on earth would be interested in the life and personality of some nobodys who have no redeeming qualities are problematic as hell and as dead as the wicked witch of the west"

Richard,Adrian,Harry,The Professor and Aidan looked at the reader

while Aidan mentioned "MIGHT I REMIND YOU TERESA IS STILL HERE?"

The Professor shouted back "Aidan shut your fascist face"


	12. The Korean Comic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richard calls an old friend after some intense self reflection about himself and War

The months had now past  
Richard had went through some self-reflection, Adrian now knew of his part English ancestry, the Professor was now a woman and Rudi and Harry had changed their names while putting their facist history behind them

  
Richard was shivering as he broke down

"WE’ WE WERE NEVER BETTER THAN ANYONE WE WERE ALL COMPLETE Scheißkerl (BASTARDS) IN THAT BLOODY WAR ANYWAY  
WAS THERE EVER ANY WINNERS …THERE WAS POVERTY,GENOCIDE,EPIDEMICS,TEENAGE BOYS WENT FORCED INTO AN UNFAMILAR ENVIROMENT TO DIE, THE HOLODOMOR, Kristallnacht,Nanking, The Bengal famine of 1943 and a million other atrocities  
We all lost in the end we wanted to put an end to war but instead it just keeps repeating for centuries  
We could use our money to improve other aspects of this country but no they use it on nuclear weapons instead… speaking of which I wonder what my little nuke-case is up to now that he’s a k pop star"

  
Adrian asked "don’t you and him not talk anymore because of your one sided relationship"

  
Richard nodded "but I’d prefer to not be reminded of that Adrian"

Adrian explained "you just have to accept that even if you’re a “socialist” now you still used to be a facist back then"  
Richard screeched "I KNOW and I TAKE BACK EVERYTHING"

  
The Professor preached "Richard Jesus says that’s like if you had to put a slaughtered sheep back to together you can’t take back what was already done"

  
Adrian stared at The Professor "since when did you become a Christian?"

  
The Professor answered "Oh I saw this amazing play called the book of Mormon"  
Adrian raised his eyebrow "Right"

  
(Richard accidentally sat on the TV remote)  
The news report said the leaders of North and South Korea have agreed to work and rid the peninsula of nuclear weapons  
And they have planted a tree to together that divided the two Korea's on the border.

  
Richard stopped crying "Oh my that’s,that’s amazing I’m so proud of Hyung for achieving that maybe this world is becoming a better place"  
he then received a call from Hyung

"Did you hear?" Hyung said 

  
Richard held back his tears "yes…and even if our pact may be broken you’ll always be in my heart"  
Hyung teared up over the phone "I,I I don’t know what to say but I-I"

Richard answered "Ich Liebe Dich Hyung"  
*Hyung then hung up*


	13. Adrian's Magical Feel Good Inc Tour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adrian finds out what the Gorillaz are

Since we haven't seen these characters in a while here's a roll down

so roll down  
  
Richard is in the 80s universe forgetting about him and hyung's toxic relationship and sorting his life out   
  
Adrian is finally being open about himself  
  
the Professor is a proud trans woman who is trying to finally be social with people who aren't dead or related to politics   
  
Rudi and Harry now live together and are moving on from their past

Rudi has moved on from his emo phase and is getting into 90s britpop thanks to tumblr and Harry has gotten british citzenship very much like the monty python sketch of the same premise but he's not as seen in the public eye anymore so he can live in peace

 

It's summer time and Aidan and Harry have moved away

Richard was jamming to the new Gorillaz album

The Professor had barely left the sofa when watching all the British comedy marathons and Adrian was glued to the music tv channels

The Professor remarked "isn't summer a day to go to the seaside?"

Richard smirked "in this heatwave there's no chance"

The Professor asked "don't they show new seasons of shows in the summer instead of these repeats?"

"Usually but the match has taken over that and love island while I am a connoisseur of Reality TV not even I would watch that tropical excuse for a Big Brother rip off" Richard sighed

The Professor was covered in a blanket when he whispered "The Match?

Richard whispered back "The Match"

(explosion is overheard)

Adrian *slammed open the door decked out in his old skinhead attire "Did someone mention the match?"

Adrian inhaled before ranting "some teams are good some aren't some just need new managers and some work with overrated players some may mention our stereotype of having football hooliganism but Russia's case is far worse"

Richard groaned before smiling "well at least there's this bop to keep me smiling this season"

The Professor looked at the album cover art "Gorillaz? I haven't heard the Gorillaz in 8 years"

Adrian asked What's Gorillaz?

Richard loudly gasped over dramatically "you didn't know tomorrow but you'll know their names today"

*they are transported*

Richard has a moody face,Professor is in the shape of the hulk, and Adrian has suspenders on

 "I'm happy I'm feeling glad,I got sunshine,in the bag I'm useless but not for long the future is coming on"

Adrian made his usual sarcastic remarks "Richard why do you look so emo,Professor why are you the hulk now and why do I look like a anime character"

they both shrugged 

however as soon as feel good inc started playing Adrian was starting to get the appeal of the band

before he was suddenly transported to a 1980s style bedroom that had Japanese aesthetics and the professor as a holographic DJ

Professor counted  in a bad Manchurian voice "It's coming up it's coming up it's coming up it's coming up.....it's dare"

Adrian was confused "Dare what?"

Adrian before transforming into a generic anime art style* "Ohhhh"

Adrian started dancing all about the place even though usually he's not a dancing type of person

Adrian was then transported to a battlefield

Adrian pondered "Am I Forest Gump what's happening and why does my hat say dirty harry?"

There was Kids outside cheering

Adrian then started singing dirty harry

*blackout* 

Adrian was then watching the ocean by a seaside

"Now this is summer" he said before being transported back home

where he was back to listening to the music TV channels

Adrian slammed the door open complaining "Would you keep it down I thought you were just watching britcom reruns not singing about what you dream about in your free time"

The Professor was offended "I beg your pardon Adrian my dreams are full of Charlie and the chocolate factory acid trips and 1980s nightclubs"

Adrian coldly answered "Since when did you get all posh and black adder like with your metaphors"

The Professor still hummed explicit lyrics until Adrian aggressively hit her with a pillow

Adrian sarcastically smirked "you wanted pillow talk didn't you"

The Professors screams could be overheard only to be blocked out by Richard's laughter at the two complete fools 

 


End file.
